The sound of the waves rolling in and breaking on the rocks is very soothing to hear. The warmth of this January afternoon is quite welcome, after all those grey days of rain. But that sound has a different voice to me. I know that it is a voice filled with sorrow and pain of loss. The lonely beach stands there dreaming of happy days gone by. The beach was not created to stand there alone and empty. It was made for the glorious summer days, when it is full of people, and children's happy shouts. It was made for the warm summer nights when people gather to enjoy a Bar-b-que, and exchange all the week's gossip. Just like me, the beach today is lonely. I am lonely too. I too am dreaming of the past, of those glorious days there at Sunset Bay.
Sunset Bay is a small bay on the outskirts of two villages, but it is quite a tiny village on its own. It is a long stretch of sea, with a small sandy beach, a larger rocky part, and further in is the cliffy part known as Sunset Rocks, which is a heaven for adventurous people who like to go diving for octopus. Then alongside this beach is the real heaven. Along the beach are more than a hundred boathouses. In winter, Sunset Bay is quite deserted, but come June, there is no better life anywhere than the one down there. All the families who own these boathouses go down there for the summer, and they don't leave before late September. Also in the midst of these boathouses, there are two bars that host most of the action during weekends. There is the bar called "Sunrise Bar". And then further in, one would find another bar, and if you look quite carefully, somewhere, you would surely find a sign hanging that reads "Summer Sun Bar". The on the limits of Sunset Bay. there is a restaurant which is called "Sunset Bay Bar & Restaurant".
There was a time when I didn't know about Sunset Bay. Of course, I knew that it existed, but I never really knew what went on down there. Because besides being a small seaside place for families, Sunset Bay was also the place where many young people hang out during the summer. My family did not own any boathouse there, and I didn't know anybody who did. But then one summer it had all changed. I met Alice, and Charlene, and of course after that followed all those glorious summers at Sunset Bay.
I was almost seventeen when I met Alice and Charlene, and we became best friends almost at once. Charlene's family had a boathouse at Sunset Bay, and that was how I got my first taste of what was to follow, when she invited me down for a Bar-b-que one summer evening. But the real things happened at the boathouse behind theirs. This boathouse, which we used to call The House, belonged to a man and his wife, but since they hardly ever went to Sunset Bay, they had passed it on to their son Jeremy. Jeremy was about eighteen years old, and so one can imagine the kind of people that gathered down there; young people from all over the bay, and friends like me from outer villages.
The "residential" friends that were always there made quite a number. There was of course Jeremy, Charlene, her cousin Denise, Denise's cousin Wendy, Alice, Alice's sister Oriana, Mark, his brother Alex, Alex best friend James, James' cousin Louis, Andy, his best friend Jack, Felix, Robert, Jo, Joel, Henry, Prue, and of course me. So you see there were quite a lot of us. Of course, before these there had been other people who had already moved on, and other friends always used to come along and share a month or two. But basically this was the group that was known as Jeremy's Party. We were all around the same age, and in general into the same things, so we really had wonderful times together.
For us, summer always started on the day that "Summer Sun Bar" opened again, and this was by early June, or if we got an early summer, by mid-May. Those days at Sunset Bay were so perfect, that I'm sure no such innocent days could ever come our way again. We always planned what we were going to do each day, and yet the unexpected always happened. There were a lot of things that never changed, like timing, and the beach, the wine and the cigarettes, the ice-cream van that always passed at the same hour, and of course our friendship. Everyday the same things happened, but yet everday was different from the one before. I can easily relate the details of what happened each day, but I'm sure that I can never describe the feelings and the emotions we all lived through then.
None of the people in this group worked, so our days started quite early, except of course on Saturday and Sunday - sometimes as early as five o'clock in the morning. None of us had a car except for Jack whose father had loaned him a wreck of a car, and James and Louis who came from quite a rich family. So we all used to get up early and catch the early morning bus to Sunset Bay. Some of the boys were lucky, and either had bikes, or got dropped off by their fathers on their way to work. We made our way to The House, and made a cup of coffee, and if we got lucky somebody would have remembered to bring some biscuits. Then as the sun would start warming up, we would do some chores around like cleaning the stove, or sweeping up the floor. On Mondays there was always the Bar-b-que set to clean up, and that always took some time. Sometimes a fish hawker would pass by, and we would buy some fish to cook for noon. Then we would always sit down and rest while smoking a cigarette, and funnily enough, throwing ash on the newly-swept floor. We never thought about it then, we just always did that. But of course, you don't notice these little things until after you don't do them anymore. Then at about ten we would all jump in the sea, and enjoyed the rest of the morning chasing each other and splashing around.
At around noon we would all go up to The House again, obviously as hungry as can be. If there was nothing to cook, we would make our way to "Sunset Bay Bar & Restaurant" to buy a burger with fries, and stop along the way at "Summer Sun Bar" to buy some ten bottles of cheap wine. Then cursing the sand that still clinged to us, we would sit down and eat and drink. Then during the afternoons we would lay back in the shade with a glass of wine, and take a short nap, or if we were feeling energetic, we would take another swim. Then the ice-cream van always used to pass at four, so we would all buy an ice-cream and sit down to enjoy it, followed by a cigarette.
By the time we finished, it would be a quarter to five, so we would get up and clean the floor again, and then run along the bay to catch the half-past five bus back home. As soon as we got home we would take off our swimming gear, and throw it in the machine, and then we would take a shower and put on some fresh clothes, and by half-past seven, or at the latest eight o'clock we would be on our way to Sunset Bay again.
The summer evenings were wonderful too in every way. We would all sit down in a circle, in front of The House, drinking wine, and smoking cigarettes, and we used to play games. Our favourite was of course Truth or Dare. But what I enjoyed most was those times when we sat in the dark, and talked by the small glow of the cigarettes' flames. We discussed everything down there. We used to talk of our dreams mostly. We all talked about finding a job, having money, of buying our dream car, and of course, of being in love one day. Little did we know back then, that it was all these dreams coming true that would change it all. When it got too late, we would all pack ourselves in Jack's and James's cars, and would leave for home again. Sometimes we would sleep over there too, cursing the mosquitos that were biting us, and pummeling Jeremy because he snored too much. Then the next morning always came, and we would do the same things all over again. It is a wonder how little we slept, about four hours only each day, and we spent the other twenty hours doing supposedly tiring things, and drinking wine, and yet we never felt tired, and were always ready to do new things.
Saturdays and Sundays were somewhat different. On Saturdays there was work to do back home, and on Sundays our folks expected us to have lunch with them. So we always left rather late for Sunset Bay, at around noon. Since the buses were infrequent, we used to walk it down, hitchhiking rides. We always got very lucky. Then as soon as we arrived we would all dive deep down in the sea, and spent the afternoons getting tan. On Saturdays, we used to go up to The House at around seven o'clock, take out the Bar-b-que set and start cooking. When food was ready, we would sit and eat it all, while drinking lots and lots of wine. The difference on Sundays was that at seven we would leave for home, to have a shower and change, and at nine o'clock we would all meet up at Sunset Bay, precisely at "Summer Sun Bar" for more wine and more laughs. Then at about eleven we would go and party in this disco club further down, called "The Grove". Oh sure, what glorious summers down there at Sunset Bay!
And then by late September summer would be over! We hated winters for the beach was deserted and the waves were high. Besides that, we hardly ever met during the week for most of us were still in school. It would be too cold for a Bar-b-que, except for one in December as a Christmas treat. "Summer Sun Bar" would close down for the winter, and so we would have nowhere to go. We would go out all weekend nights. But before going to "The Grove", on Fridays and Saturdays, we would all meet up in this bar called "Granny's Nook", for a drink of wine together, and sometimes a game of pool.
On Sunday afternoons then, we would buy a loaf of bread, and go down to The House in Sunset Bay, and make some coffee and some toast. And then we would relate all that had happened during the week. I remember, one time Joel got some paint and painted a beautiful sun on the door. This was a blazing summer sun, with a face on it, and the face was screaming, maybe because it was so happy. And then beneath it he wrote the legend: "Summer Illusion". We all loved that picture, and from then on, that picture became our coat of arms, the symbol that represented Jeremy's Party. That was the way we used to spend the long season of winter. And in the end, summer always came again by early June, and with it came the wonderful days spent at Sunset Bay.
How could I ever forget those days? I was always happy. There was nothing special about The House. It was a very small boathouse, with a bed in a cornet, and the mattress was always rather damp. There was an old rusty stove in another corner, and in the middle a small table, with three chairs that were badly in need of repair. There was only a very small window, and the door was so narrow, that it was almost impossible going in carrying in something slightly wider than myself, so it was always rather dark. And yet, it was the one place in the world, where I felt safe. There in that small, dark room, lit only by a 25 Watt bulb at night, I felt that no harm could ever come to me. There was power in that room, a kind of magical power that drove all evil away. Life was so filled with may things to do from morning till night, that there was no time to think of bad things. Nothing bad ever happened down there. We were always happy together. This was the one place in the world, that really felt like the centre of the universe. I know, the universe is vast, and there is no such thing as the centre of the universe - and yet it was indeed, the centre of our universe, just like in that Madonna song: our pride and joy, that no one in the world could dare destroy.
But all this has happened very long ago. It's all a fairy tale that starts with the words "Once upon a time there was a boathouse in a beautiful place called Sunset Bay..." All our dreams came true. We all found a job, and so we couldn't go down there as much as we would like to. We all got our dream car, and so discovered new places. And after that, we all fell in love, and things changed forever. "Granny's Nook", that bar we met in, in the winter has closed down, and so we never see each other in the winter. Denise and Jo got married to each other, and are raising a family now. We sometimes meet at "Summer Sun Bar", but the wine tastes bitter now, because its taste is full of memories of happier days. And since we all live different lives now, there is nothing to talk about except the past. And though we never say it, and we would never admit it, we know that our whole universe has been shattered. Now there is no more frying on a rusty stove, as there is no more sleeping out under the stars, or hitchhiking rides at noon, because those glorious days at Sunset Bay are over.
Whenever we meet, we try to talk about different things, but as always we are sure to bring up stories about the good old times, and compare how everyone behaved then with the way they behave now. Maybe it's good that we don't meet often, because as soon as we sit around that old table on which we had scratched our names and our dreams, and as soon as we start sipping the wine, and handing cigarettes around, we can all feel it in the air. It's a feeling so strong that we can almost touch it, and even see it walking around each and every one of us, whispering in our ears. We try to pretend it's not true, but it's that nostalgic, loving feeling that cannot be ignored, and the words just come out without control, and the more we drink, the more we remember. It's so sad, really, to be sitting there at our favourite place, listening to the sound of our favourite song, which was Fire in Bosnia, and wishing it would all go back to the way it was once, and yet we know that it is not possible because we have all changed. Things have changed. Even if we try to go back, we can't. Places have closed down, music has changed, people have moved on, and we too have lived things beyond that old dark room. So we just talk about it, and sit there and watch it all in our minds like a scene from an old movie, and we grow old ourselves, because the days of being forever young are well behind us now.
And that's what I'm thinking about as I sit here in the shade of The House this afternoon. I can not come here in the summer, because it's too depressing to see this once-wonderful place so deserted. It's like seeing a beautiful woman, who was everyone's dream, stripped of her clothing, and hanging her head in shame. But sometimes on a winter afternoon, when things get hard to take, I come here, and again I feel protected. I am a little child, terrified of the monster under the bed, and The House is the mother that embraces me, and I feel that all fear is gone. That's exactly the way I feel sitting here, with my eyes closed. I can feel it whispering in my ear, that everything is going to be okay. I can again hear the laughter from those far-off summers, and I remember all those friends, that always said that as long as we had each other, nothing could ever go wrong. I'm sure that in everyone's heart there is still the memory of those perfect days and nights. There is still the memory of that joy inside our hearts. We still see it all in our minds. And though maybe no one would admit it, no matter whom we shall meet, nobody can make us feel as sure of ourselves as the friends we had then. No other place could ever feel like home as much as The House. And I'm sure that whatever happens, no other days in our lives, would carry as much nostalgia and memories as those days and nights spent at Summer Bay.
Sunset Bay is a small bay on the outskirts of two villages, but it is quite a tiny village on its own. It is a long stretch of sea, with a small sandy beach, a larger rocky part, and further in is the cliffy part known as Sunset Rocks, which is a heaven for adventurous people who like to go diving for octopus. Then alongside this beach is the real heaven. Along the beach are more than a hundred boathouses. In winter, Sunset Bay is quite deserted, but come June, there is no better life anywhere than the one down there. All the families who own these boathouses go down there for the summer, and they don't leave before late September. Also in the midst of these boathouses, there are two bars that host most of the action during weekends. There is the bar called "Sunrise Bar". And then further in, one would find another bar, and if you look quite carefully, somewhere, you would surely find a sign hanging that reads "Summer Sun Bar". The on the limits of Sunset Bay. there is a restaurant which is called "Sunset Bay Bar & Restaurant".
There was a time when I didn't know about Sunset Bay. Of course, I knew that it existed, but I never really knew what went on down there. Because besides being a small seaside place for families, Sunset Bay was also the place where many young people hang out during the summer. My family did not own any boathouse there, and I didn't know anybody who did. But then one summer it had all changed. I met Alice, and Charlene, and of course after that followed all those glorious summers at Sunset Bay.
I was almost seventeen when I met Alice and Charlene, and we became best friends almost at once. Charlene's family had a boathouse at Sunset Bay, and that was how I got my first taste of what was to follow, when she invited me down for a Bar-b-que one summer evening. But the real things happened at the boathouse behind theirs. This boathouse, which we used to call The House, belonged to a man and his wife, but since they hardly ever went to Sunset Bay, they had passed it on to their son Jeremy. Jeremy was about eighteen years old, and so one can imagine the kind of people that gathered down there; young people from all over the bay, and friends like me from outer villages.
The "residential" friends that were always there made quite a number. There was of course Jeremy, Charlene, her cousin Denise, Denise's cousin Wendy, Alice, Alice's sister Oriana, Mark, his brother Alex, Alex best friend James, James' cousin Louis, Andy, his best friend Jack, Felix, Robert, Jo, Joel, Henry, Prue, and of course me. So you see there were quite a lot of us. Of course, before these there had been other people who had already moved on, and other friends always used to come along and share a month or two. But basically this was the group that was known as Jeremy's Party. We were all around the same age, and in general into the same things, so we really had wonderful times together.
For us, summer always started on the day that "Summer Sun Bar" opened again, and this was by early June, or if we got an early summer, by mid-May. Those days at Sunset Bay were so perfect, that I'm sure no such innocent days could ever come our way again. We always planned what we were going to do each day, and yet the unexpected always happened. There were a lot of things that never changed, like timing, and the beach, the wine and the cigarettes, the ice-cream van that always passed at the same hour, and of course our friendship. Everyday the same things happened, but yet everday was different from the one before. I can easily relate the details of what happened each day, but I'm sure that I can never describe the feelings and the emotions we all lived through then.
None of the people in this group worked, so our days started quite early, except of course on Saturday and Sunday - sometimes as early as five o'clock in the morning. None of us had a car except for Jack whose father had loaned him a wreck of a car, and James and Louis who came from quite a rich family. So we all used to get up early and catch the early morning bus to Sunset Bay. Some of the boys were lucky, and either had bikes, or got dropped off by their fathers on their way to work. We made our way to The House, and made a cup of coffee, and if we got lucky somebody would have remembered to bring some biscuits. Then as the sun would start warming up, we would do some chores around like cleaning the stove, or sweeping up the floor. On Mondays there was always the Bar-b-que set to clean up, and that always took some time. Sometimes a fish hawker would pass by, and we would buy some fish to cook for noon. Then we would always sit down and rest while smoking a cigarette, and funnily enough, throwing ash on the newly-swept floor. We never thought about it then, we just always did that. But of course, you don't notice these little things until after you don't do them anymore. Then at about ten we would all jump in the sea, and enjoyed the rest of the morning chasing each other and splashing around.
At around noon we would all go up to The House again, obviously as hungry as can be. If there was nothing to cook, we would make our way to "Sunset Bay Bar & Restaurant" to buy a burger with fries, and stop along the way at "Summer Sun Bar" to buy some ten bottles of cheap wine. Then cursing the sand that still clinged to us, we would sit down and eat and drink. Then during the afternoons we would lay back in the shade with a glass of wine, and take a short nap, or if we were feeling energetic, we would take another swim. Then the ice-cream van always used to pass at four, so we would all buy an ice-cream and sit down to enjoy it, followed by a cigarette.
By the time we finished, it would be a quarter to five, so we would get up and clean the floor again, and then run along the bay to catch the half-past five bus back home. As soon as we got home we would take off our swimming gear, and throw it in the machine, and then we would take a shower and put on some fresh clothes, and by half-past seven, or at the latest eight o'clock we would be on our way to Sunset Bay again.
The summer evenings were wonderful too in every way. We would all sit down in a circle, in front of The House, drinking wine, and smoking cigarettes, and we used to play games. Our favourite was of course Truth or Dare. But what I enjoyed most was those times when we sat in the dark, and talked by the small glow of the cigarettes' flames. We discussed everything down there. We used to talk of our dreams mostly. We all talked about finding a job, having money, of buying our dream car, and of course, of being in love one day. Little did we know back then, that it was all these dreams coming true that would change it all. When it got too late, we would all pack ourselves in Jack's and James's cars, and would leave for home again. Sometimes we would sleep over there too, cursing the mosquitos that were biting us, and pummeling Jeremy because he snored too much. Then the next morning always came, and we would do the same things all over again. It is a wonder how little we slept, about four hours only each day, and we spent the other twenty hours doing supposedly tiring things, and drinking wine, and yet we never felt tired, and were always ready to do new things.
Saturdays and Sundays were somewhat different. On Saturdays there was work to do back home, and on Sundays our folks expected us to have lunch with them. So we always left rather late for Sunset Bay, at around noon. Since the buses were infrequent, we used to walk it down, hitchhiking rides. We always got very lucky. Then as soon as we arrived we would all dive deep down in the sea, and spent the afternoons getting tan. On Saturdays, we used to go up to The House at around seven o'clock, take out the Bar-b-que set and start cooking. When food was ready, we would sit and eat it all, while drinking lots and lots of wine. The difference on Sundays was that at seven we would leave for home, to have a shower and change, and at nine o'clock we would all meet up at Sunset Bay, precisely at "Summer Sun Bar" for more wine and more laughs. Then at about eleven we would go and party in this disco club further down, called "The Grove". Oh sure, what glorious summers down there at Sunset Bay!
And then by late September summer would be over! We hated winters for the beach was deserted and the waves were high. Besides that, we hardly ever met during the week for most of us were still in school. It would be too cold for a Bar-b-que, except for one in December as a Christmas treat. "Summer Sun Bar" would close down for the winter, and so we would have nowhere to go. We would go out all weekend nights. But before going to "The Grove", on Fridays and Saturdays, we would all meet up in this bar called "Granny's Nook", for a drink of wine together, and sometimes a game of pool.
On Sunday afternoons then, we would buy a loaf of bread, and go down to The House in Sunset Bay, and make some coffee and some toast. And then we would relate all that had happened during the week. I remember, one time Joel got some paint and painted a beautiful sun on the door. This was a blazing summer sun, with a face on it, and the face was screaming, maybe because it was so happy. And then beneath it he wrote the legend: "Summer Illusion". We all loved that picture, and from then on, that picture became our coat of arms, the symbol that represented Jeremy's Party. That was the way we used to spend the long season of winter. And in the end, summer always came again by early June, and with it came the wonderful days spent at Sunset Bay.
How could I ever forget those days? I was always happy. There was nothing special about The House. It was a very small boathouse, with a bed in a cornet, and the mattress was always rather damp. There was an old rusty stove in another corner, and in the middle a small table, with three chairs that were badly in need of repair. There was only a very small window, and the door was so narrow, that it was almost impossible going in carrying in something slightly wider than myself, so it was always rather dark. And yet, it was the one place in the world, where I felt safe. There in that small, dark room, lit only by a 25 Watt bulb at night, I felt that no harm could ever come to me. There was power in that room, a kind of magical power that drove all evil away. Life was so filled with may things to do from morning till night, that there was no time to think of bad things. Nothing bad ever happened down there. We were always happy together. This was the one place in the world, that really felt like the centre of the universe. I know, the universe is vast, and there is no such thing as the centre of the universe - and yet it was indeed, the centre of our universe, just like in that Madonna song: our pride and joy, that no one in the world could dare destroy.
But all this has happened very long ago. It's all a fairy tale that starts with the words "Once upon a time there was a boathouse in a beautiful place called Sunset Bay..." All our dreams came true. We all found a job, and so we couldn't go down there as much as we would like to. We all got our dream car, and so discovered new places. And after that, we all fell in love, and things changed forever. "Granny's Nook", that bar we met in, in the winter has closed down, and so we never see each other in the winter. Denise and Jo got married to each other, and are raising a family now. We sometimes meet at "Summer Sun Bar", but the wine tastes bitter now, because its taste is full of memories of happier days. And since we all live different lives now, there is nothing to talk about except the past. And though we never say it, and we would never admit it, we know that our whole universe has been shattered. Now there is no more frying on a rusty stove, as there is no more sleeping out under the stars, or hitchhiking rides at noon, because those glorious days at Sunset Bay are over.
Whenever we meet, we try to talk about different things, but as always we are sure to bring up stories about the good old times, and compare how everyone behaved then with the way they behave now. Maybe it's good that we don't meet often, because as soon as we sit around that old table on which we had scratched our names and our dreams, and as soon as we start sipping the wine, and handing cigarettes around, we can all feel it in the air. It's a feeling so strong that we can almost touch it, and even see it walking around each and every one of us, whispering in our ears. We try to pretend it's not true, but it's that nostalgic, loving feeling that cannot be ignored, and the words just come out without control, and the more we drink, the more we remember. It's so sad, really, to be sitting there at our favourite place, listening to the sound of our favourite song, which was Fire in Bosnia, and wishing it would all go back to the way it was once, and yet we know that it is not possible because we have all changed. Things have changed. Even if we try to go back, we can't. Places have closed down, music has changed, people have moved on, and we too have lived things beyond that old dark room. So we just talk about it, and sit there and watch it all in our minds like a scene from an old movie, and we grow old ourselves, because the days of being forever young are well behind us now.
And that's what I'm thinking about as I sit here in the shade of The House this afternoon. I can not come here in the summer, because it's too depressing to see this once-wonderful place so deserted. It's like seeing a beautiful woman, who was everyone's dream, stripped of her clothing, and hanging her head in shame. But sometimes on a winter afternoon, when things get hard to take, I come here, and again I feel protected. I am a little child, terrified of the monster under the bed, and The House is the mother that embraces me, and I feel that all fear is gone. That's exactly the way I feel sitting here, with my eyes closed. I can feel it whispering in my ear, that everything is going to be okay. I can again hear the laughter from those far-off summers, and I remember all those friends, that always said that as long as we had each other, nothing could ever go wrong. I'm sure that in everyone's heart there is still the memory of those perfect days and nights. There is still the memory of that joy inside our hearts. We still see it all in our minds. And though maybe no one would admit it, no matter whom we shall meet, nobody can make us feel as sure of ourselves as the friends we had then. No other place could ever feel like home as much as The House. And I'm sure that whatever happens, no other days in our lives, would carry as much nostalgia and memories as those days and nights spent at Summer Bay.
1 comment:
Isn't it sad that people who were once so close can grow apart and change over time or due to life's circumstance. This essay reminds me so much of friends I had that were so close. Now when I see them, we barely have anything in common.
Wonderfully written. I can really hear and feel these places.
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